Bonita Paw Print : Humor Me #8 ? ?Romantically hopeless?
Nate Gonzales, the "Humor Me" writer in the flesh.
Nathan Gonzales, Features staff writer
February 10, 2012
Filed under Arts and Entertainment, Features, Health and Tips
This is a weekly column written by The PawPrint?s own Nathan Gonzales. He hopes to humor you with a message.
You smell that, Bonita? It?s not the sawdust from the under-construction gymnasium. It?s love.
Sickening, isn?t it?
But as the clich? goes, it?s in the air. It?s the one pollutant that Al Gore never really thought to address. It?s burning down our crops and poisoning our water supply. We are on red alert, people. Def-Con One. Threat Level: Midnight.
Valentine?s Day rapidly approaches, and with such, we?re forced to dwell on whether or not we do have a ?special someone? in our lives.
Musical newscaster and Patrick Bateman idol Huey Lewis once wrote, ?The power of love is a curious thing. Makes one man weep, makes another man sing.? Truer words have never been sung, Huey.
Love stinks, really. It turns people into idiots and idiots into Casanovas. ?Nice guys finish last? they say. Who said that, anyway? Well, he must?ve been a really nice guy, because he didn?t take credit for it?
But why should having a significant other dictate whether or not you should be happy in life? I?m single and I?m fine with that? ladies. Seriously, though, I might be in that classic romantic comedy where the column writer preaches about not needing love in his life but really all along he does need that certain person in his life to give it meaning and fill those empty spaces that suck the life out of him like some sort of vacuum of love.
Believe me, I?ve tried finding love. I started by being nice to strangers to build a better repertoire with others. Take the other day, for instance. I struck up a conversation with my Fantastic Sam?s hairdresser (this is rare for me, for I fear distracting a person doing such a job could end up in an unfashionable accident). Lisa, I think her name was. It didn?t end well? Well, the haircut was great, but it turns out Lisa was an idiot.
Oh well. Maybe I?m not meant for love.
But don?t let that discourage you, beloved readers. I love you (platonically) and you should share that love with others.
That?s right, you guessed it. I am going to implore you to go out and find love. Sure, it?s a tall-order, but isn?t that what love is?
It doesn?t have to be extreme, restraining-order requested love. Show your friends/family members/favorite Bonita Paw Print column writer that you love them in your own special way, whether it?s a kind gesture or a full-on deep tissue massage.
Make others feel loved, and then you can love yourself?
?or something like that.
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